Lack of emotion

Whenever we try to shut off close down or avoid certain emotions, the problem is that everything else can get shut down as well. It’s not like there’s one dial for happiness, another for sadness, and yet another for anger. We either feel our emotions or we don’t. If you want your positive emotions back, you will have to open up to the negative ones and work through them.

The reasons why we shut down emotions are all based on fear, but with different variations. We may be afraid of hurting somebody else or we may be afraid that if we show our anger we’ll be negatively judged for it. We judge that we should have gotten over something from the past, but when there are still feelings left, we’re afraid that something’s wrong with us that we haven’t “gotten over” something. There are many more faces you can put on fear, including the one you mentioned, where you're afraid of people disappointing you, so you close down instead.

Your feelings of loving are suppressed because of your overall suppression of emotions. To feel love again, you'll need to face your fears of what will happen when you access your anger. The problem with believing our fears, whether it’s on a subconscious or conscious level, is that the fears is always out of proportion with reality, but we have no way of knowing that unless we face what we’re afraid of.

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My lovely previous housemate.

She cooked for me always when my exam was around the corner, scolded me for drinking too much coffee. A sarawakian who is always kind and cute. 

My uni mates

 I always be the leader and they were always be the best teammates :) Learned a lot from them. I discovered my leadership skill from the team which lead me to a different path and different me later on. The smartest one, the cutest one, the naive one and the realistic one. My uni life won't be that great without you all.  

There are so many great memories in my uni life. I always late for class, skipped the morning class, then turned out most of them knew my presence HAHAHA. Went out for road trip at midnight always, tried shisa and vape before with one of my friends. Being crazy with them, there were so many great memories back then :) 

I will definitely miss it.